Saturday, September 14

Light Among the Ruins After Dark


source


Reading over older writings, from 2007, stumbled upon this from Sebald:

No one knew where the homeless stayed,
although lights among the ruins after dark
showed where they had moved in.


Ruminating over the possibilities of anamnesis: how much have I forgotten to remember?

And so, I translate Sebald, render freely unto my own idiolect:

The ruins of my own memory cathedral
occupied by these homeless thoughts
recognized by the light of their fires at night
amidst the broken, fallen fragments of my world

Or...

I do not remember where the homeless stayed,
Closing my eyes, there are lights among the ruins
indicating occupation

But the first person is vexing to me, so...

Thoughts homeless, unremembered
Indicated by the presence of the fires
Among the ruins in the dark

It is not better, not in any way, but makes more sense to me now. 


Thank you, A.A.

Monday, July 29

The Criterion Collection: Gimme Shelter (1970) #99





The charismatic mystery of music and the Cult of Personality. The Madison Square Garden footage: Jagger taunting, teasing, embodying primal qualities of the music transmogrified into flesh. The mouth in particular... curling, sneering, jutting around and over the language. The calculating intelligence of the gaze. The self-consciousness of being on camera. Keith oddly, in the context of his last decade's fame, distant, in the background. Other Stones, shadowy figures. Of course, the film is clouded in shame.

How does one review this picture? It’s like reviewing the footage of President Kennedy’s assassination or Lee Harvey Oswald’s murder. This movie is into complications and sleight-of-hand beyond Pirandello, since the filmed death at Altamont – although, of course, unexpected – was part of a cinema-verite spectacular.
- Pauline Kael 

The artifice of the structure not as disconcerting as I imagine it was at the time. The jaded sensibilities of post-20th century media saturation. Most charming is the innocence, the relative naiveté.

Wild Horses at Muscle Shoals. Brown Sugar in the hotel room. Guards down. Children delighted with their deeds.

All of this is known to me merely through image osmosis, soaked up over the years through photographs and clips. This is the Stones. Compelling as music, as a facet of popular history. But not interesting beyond that. Plays as the calm before the storm.



Altamont. The word itself having acquired connotation of an ending time. Eschatological echos. As if Time itself determined Altamont would be the arena for the Final Apocalypse of 1960s American Hope.

From Wikipedia: Apocalypse:

An apocalypse (Ancient Greek: ἀποκάλυψις apocálypsis, from ἀπό and καλύπτω meaning 'un-covering'), translated literally from Greek, is a disclosure of knowledge, i.e., a lifting of the veil or revelation, although this sense did not enter English until the 14th century. In religious contexts it is usually a disclosure of something hidden. In the Revelation of John (Greek Ἀποκάλυψις Ἰωάννου, Apocalypsis Ioannou), the last book of the New Testament, the revelation which John receives is that of the ultimate victory of good over evil and the end of the present age, and that is the primary meaning of the term, one that dates to 1175. Today, it is commonly used in reference to any prophetic revelation or so-called End Time scenario, or to the end of the world in general.
Perhaps, the "uncovering" of the worm of the Lie that was at the heart of 1960s all along. The golden spectre of Woodstock: Aquarian wet dreams of peace and harmony, the dawn of a coming age, the gathering of the New Tribes. That spectre laying the seeds of over-strident hope in the ground of the Woodstock of the West. In retrospect, it seems at best naive and at worst dangerous.

There's no such thing as life without bloodshed. I think the notion that the species can be improved in some way, that everyone could live in harmony, is a really dangerous idea. Those who are afflicted with this notion are the first ones to give up their souls, their freedom. Your desire that it be that way will enslave you and make your life vacuous. 
- Cormac McCarthy
In the year and a half leading up to Altamont, you have the assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy. The My Lai Massacre. The Zodiac Killer and the Manson Family Murders.




All of this seems reflected in the Faces of the Altamont Crowd. Everyone either trying too hard or lost in the Weird Nightmare of the Moment. The worst are the blissfully unaware, smiling gaping parodies and pathetic stereotypes of "The Hippy". Media laced simulcra of Haight Ashbury fantasies. Rictus grins and pre-sardonic smiles. We are all trying so fucking hard to be happy. You can almost taste the high octane LSD warping off the screen. There in a flash, what I initially thought was a wolf stalking across the stage. Emblematic. Perfect.




It all has the surreal beauty/horror of a wreck on the highway. You can see it all unfolding and gathering Dionysian energy. The Hell's Angels like demons around a pit of hell. Mick looking out, seeing, stopping, standing still, the music still playing, then himself seeming to become possessed by the moment, the inevitable performance of it all, turning back and dancing with a new daemonic abandon.




The faces in the crowd read like a tableau out of Michelangelo's Last Judgement.






Those on the stage, with the heightened sense of awareness (one imagines) of being filmed, of being part of the spectacle, were the most arresting. Jagger conversing with a figure out of Hieronymus Bosch. The unabashed resentment of one of the Hell's Angels as he openly glares at Jagger.





These moments, prior to the murder, reach their epiphany in the bearded Jim Morrison looking individual standing just behind Jagger. He is clearly in the grip of a nightmare rage trip. The anger and anguish on his face is haunting. You expect at any moment he is going to jump on Jagger, tear his throat out and start eating his face. The Face of Sparagmos. 






I was 7 years old when Altamont occurred. I knew nothing of it at the time. Coming of age in the 70s however, I always had a sense of having been born too late. And having to suffer in the Aftermath of a Fallen World. Of course, I was young and foolish and full of hunger for dangerous and misguided hope. The 1970s seemed to me to be one of the worst times to be alive. I could not articulate it then, but the bright colored candy mod kitsch of the 70's was a harrowing example of Kundera's idea that Kitsch is the denial of shit, a frightened and infantile turning away from the hard core reality of "something before." 

The film Altamont is undeniable problematic. Again, the fascination of the car wreck. I don't buy that it is a snuff film, although the murder electrifies the narrative. And that is it. There is a narrative. A constructed story embedded in the tragic unfolding of the Spectacle, of the Event. The power of the film is how resonate that narrative remains. Auden comes to mind antagonistically: for us, this nebulous pronoun, it was an important failure. 









Friday, December 10

Murderer's Song #2




East Texas rain making me insane
Coming down like blood dripping out of my brain
Skull on fire with a dark desire
Hear my woman's been fucking the whole church choir
East Texas rain making me insane
Coming down like blood dripping out of my brain

Crosscut saw shivering in my hand
Drank a bottle of whisky until I had a plan
Come up through the back door screen door slams
Now a man without a head ain't much of a man
Crosscut saw shivering in my hand
Drank a bottle of whisky until I had a plan

Slaughterhouse skull puncher against her head
As she's lying there dreaming about the lies she said
Kiss on the lips and now she's dead
A whole lot holier with her brains on the bed
Slaughterhouse skull puncher against her head
As she's lying there dreaming about the lies she said

Like a wind-up toy with an unsprung spring
I walk through the town and make the whole choir sing
Skull punch percussion with the angel's screams
Everyone tonight is going to have bad dreams
Like a wind-up toy with an unsprung spring
I walk through the town and make the whole choir sing


The Murderer's Song #1





Used to be
She'd never come home
Sitting here in the dark
Drinking alone
Now days go by
Cut down to the bone
Used to be
I gave a shit but now I don't

This idea like a splinter
Works down deep in the mind
First there every now and then
And then all the time
Can't get away from thinking
How it'd make it all right
One quick cut into the flesh
With the edge of a knife

One night
She come in covered in sin
Could see bones burning
Under her skin
Inside of her eyes
Her beginning and end
Thought I might as well get to it
And started in

Sitting here in the blood
Bones stacked in the shower
My entire sad life
Redeemed if just for an hour
Her face in my hands
Cut into the shape of a flower
I want to call it love
But I know it's just power

Used to be
She'd never come home
Sitting here in the dark
Drinking alone
Now days go by
Cut down to the bone
Used to be
I gave a shit but now I don't


Tuesday, June 29

Black Drop Ephemera



Some recent design work for The Black Drop:










Images From A Deserted Camera PDF



Since I posted a couple of images from the Monastery, I thought I might as well post a pdf (for download, if you like) of the little book, Images From A Deserted Camera. Enjoy.

Access pdf via Google Docs.
You can choose to download it from here.
The images are much better if you do.



Monday, June 28

Flower Porn Haiku || The Interior of 含笑花 (Ham Siu fa) or Smiling Flower


Posted these as a update on The Anacortes Review. Was fairly pleased with the narrative that emerged out of the set.

Was just talking with Jonathan at the Black Drop about what happens in the gutter between two comic panels.




From Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics:

The gutter: the space between the panels of a comics; our imagination takes the two images that boarder the gutter and transforms then into a single idea. Notice how the gutter in comics is similar to the pivot between two juxtaposed images in haiku.
When I was placing these images on the page, I obviously was following a temporal sequence, didn't pay too much attention to any possible narrative. But once I went back over them, I found myself smiling, my thoughts working out this little tale of seduction, vulnerability, exposure, penetration and ecstasy. The shiver in the gutter between the last two images almost makes me laugh out loud.




















Sunday, June 27

To become a stranger to the world's ways || Everything else is advertising




Been thinking a lot about The Rule of St. Benedict: The Instruments of Good Works #20:

To become a stranger to the world's ways.

And Michael Hastings, reporter from Rolling Stone, defending his publication of "on background" and "not for attribution" remarks from Gen. Stanley McChrystal:

"Hard not to respond to this without going back to an old saying. I'm paraphrasing: Reporting is what someone somewhere doesn't want known," Hastings wrote. "Everything else is advertising."



Wondering: how much of this world is NOT advertising? How much of my attention is "paid" to advertising?  How much of my time is "spent" listening to the internal monologue/virus that is the language of advertising? How to prevent it from inserting itself into the grammar anymore than it already has?

How to maintain purity? Ritual.

Three quotes from [pdf] Purity and Danger: An analysis of the concepts of pollution and taboo by Mary Douglas:

"Ritual recognizes the potency of disorder. In the disorder of the mind, in dreams, faints and frenzies, ritual expects to find powers and truths which cannot be reached by conscious effort. Energy to command and special powers of healing come to those who can abandon rational control for a time. Sometimes an Andaman Islander leaves his band and wanders in the forest like a madman. When he returns to his senses and to human society he has gained occult power of healing. This is a very common notion, widely attested."

"In these beliefs there is a double play on inarticulateness. First there is a venture into the disordered regions of the mind. Second there is the venture beyond the confines of society. The man who comes back from these inaccessible regions brings with him a power not available to those who have stayed in the control of themselves and society"

"During the marginal period which separates ritual dying and ritual rebirth, the novices in the initiation are temporarily outcast. For the duration of the rite they have no place in society. Sometimes they actually go to live far away outside. Sometimes they live near enough for unplanned contacts to take place between full social beings and the outcasts."




I once asked a monk at the Monastery in the Desert if he ever thought that he was running away from the world by secluding himself out in the Desert. I expected him to reply that he was doing the precise opposite: turning away from the superficial world into the profound. Instead, he said it depends upon where you stand. If you are on the inside then those who move outside of the circumference of the world are often seen as "running away" from their social responsibilities. But for those who are searching in the darkness, when they step beyond the pale, they see that others have come before them, that there is a path that leads them to sanctuary. Often, he continued, I hope that our responsibilities to society are similar to those of the lighthouse keeper. We have built this structure that stands upon the border between two worlds so that those within might find a measure of reassurance that there is someone out here, trying to live in a more rigorous, religious manner. But more: that those that are lost out there in the beyond can find a way home.